I'm back!

Yay! I'm back online- this only took about forever! my computer was slowly starting to die on me and I couldn't watch it sink down in to nothingness so I stopped using it completely. Jesse is more connected online and had to deal with the dumb Dell computer- this was bad and it didn't even have a virus! it took ten minutes to load sometimes fifteen and if you tried to open a program up in the middle of the loading process (heaven forbid) it would take twenty minutes total and to top that it would freeze when it was done- can you believe this? Me and Jess decided that the next computer we invest our money into is definately Not going to be a pc- it's going to be a mac. Wow I never thought we would have turned but Dell did it.

Any ways the coolest part of my day yesterday was that I got to talk online with Julia who's in Japan! it was so nice to hear from her and I didn't realize it until I began chatting but I missed her so much and to know she was so far away was sad. I did want to ask her how great the possibility was for her to jump from Japan and into China to see the Olympics- but I think that would sound way too dumb, lol, so I didn't ask.

Onto the hard stuff- so they let Jesse go from NewCov cause of budget problems. Yeah...lol, now we're both home with some projects to do but I find myself flipping back and forth through different emotions. Mad at everything- including the church and then I feel so free because we are no longer tied down to New Cov. I remeber feeling a little trapped because of this job because I thought we'd always have to stay in Fresno. I honestly thought Jesse would have this job forever. I thought maybe ten years down the road God would call us somewhere else but I didn't think it would happen 8 months into the job ya know?

Anyways I've been sruggling with understanding and trusting in the goodness of Godand I came across this in Tozers The knowledge of the Holy written by Charles Wesley

O God, my hope, my heavenly rest,
My all of happiness below,
Grand my importunate request,
To me, to me, Thy goodness show;
Thy beatific face display,
The brightness of eternal day.

Before my faith's enlightened eyes,
Make all Thy gracious goodness pass;
Thy goodness is the sight I prize;
O might I see Thy smiling face;
Thy nature in my soul proclaim,
Reveal Thy love, Thy glorious name

Sleeping...Dolphins

on one of my vacation days I woke up had breakfast went back to sleep till eleven goofed around till three took another nap till five-ish had dinner and the rest of the night I can't remember but pretty relaxing. Today we took a couple of walks- we even saw dolphins when we were at the Monterey wharf! It looked like it was a mother and baby- so cute! They were randomly putting on a show for the Kayakers! Swimming around and doing jumps, it went on for a whole 40 minutes- it was an amazing time for me and Jess.

Sam our cuz is in town- and we're ready to have a night out with the cousins to enjoy Julia before she leaves. No idea what we're doing yet but I'll let you know tomorrow what we did.

Daniels story

So we visited Salinas Valley Community Church today for a Sunday sermon. I'm telling you- it was so nice to be able to wake up in the morning- not nervous and in a rush to get to church to get ready to teach the lesson and feel so panicky about the craft for the kids- scrambling around for ideas (aaahhhh!!!!). It was a very calming experience- we were even there like twenty minutes early. I felt like I was able to breathe and I even slept the night before!

I miss only being minimally involved at the church. Isn't that sad? I think I'm just so tired of being there all the time- but I still feel called to be there is the frustrating thing. I'm just going to leave that as is and figure the rest of the year with God.

Anyways the sermon was about Daniel and how had he not been taken captive into Babylon God for him just wouldn't have been as big. It was also about his resilience, more specifically about verse 8 in the first chapter "But Daniel determined he would not defile himself"- after having been taken captive out of my home land and even having my name changed I would have felt so robbed! So naked of myself and what I've grown up to know as myself- how could Daniel have been determined to do anything? I would have just given up- but he still had strength left in him to put his foot down. He still held a piece of himself even though everything else was taken away. Even learning what his name meant was comforting (hebrew class memories) Dani-el (el being God and Dani meaning Judges) God Judges. Try holding onto THAT while the whole world is going topsy turvy.

I dunno it brought me comfort to know that maybe that's why I've had my summer of "babylon" -maybe God just wouldn't have been that big- maybe okay to rely on sometimes- but not the sturdy foundation I need to get me through this.

Vacation time

Hey guys, on vacation. lol, it sorta feels just the same as when Jesse went to work anyways- the afternoon naps and all. The best part is that we're in Salinas and we visited the beach today. We keep the windows open throughout the whole day and there's always a nice fresh breeze.

Going to go do some Bible reading. Bye!

will check in later with more stuff to say. ;)

Poetry

I realized that I haven't read any poetry in a while. I used to read it and write it constantly- my teachers loved my work. I guess sometimes you can become so consumed with one thing if you're not careful. Anyways, I've decided to pick it back up as a hobby. I found a book I've been looking for- for about 5 years. I only knew what the cover looked like, what the author looked like- no names or anything. After about so many years I found it today and I praised God for it. It is titled The Heart of God- prayers of Rabindranath Tagore. Here is one line that I've enjoyed thoroughly over and over again:

"Rebelliously I put out the light in my house,
and Your sky surprised me with its stars."

Reminds me of my spiritual life.

Tagged

A. Attached or Single: Attatched
B. Best Friend: Jesse Caron & my sisters- it's a tie all around
C. Cake or Pie: Cake- duh!
D. Day of Choice: Saturday
E. Essential Item: my mom- she makes the best hot chocolate in the world lol, does that count?
F. Flavor of Ice Cream: Jamoca Almond Fudge
G. Gummy bears or Worms: Sour gummy worms- preferably stale, lol
H. Hometown: Fresyes
I. Indulgences: ooohhhh getting great buys on clearance- I have to stop myself sometimes
J. January or July: July
K. Kids: nope gots none- and hopefully won't for a couple of years ;)
L. Last Movie I saw in a Theater: Expelled- saw it with the church
M. Middle Name: lol John- it was a tradition in Russa/Armenia to name the first child after the father, thank God they made it my middle name instead of my first- I just tell people Joan to avoid the retelling of the story- I think it's kind of cool though.
N. Number of Siblings: 3- including Juuleeya!
O. Orange or Apples: mmm...oranges- think of the citrus!
P. Phobias or fears: blood coming out of appendages
Q. Quote: no cuts, no butts, no coconuts (4th grade)
R. Reasons to Smile: a day when the wind is blowing lightly and the sun is just spending a lazy day in the sky- when I take a walk in woodward park and enjoy the alone time with God in intimacy
S. Season: Summer! I love it so much I'll probably name one of my girls that.
T. Tag 3: Azy, Scott, and Arev so she'll have to start a blog, lol
U. Unknown fact about me: sometimes I listen to spanish music just cause
V. Vegetarian or Oppressor of Animals: oppressor all the way- when I look at cows all I can think of all the steak I could eat.
W. Worst Habit: biting my nails
X. X-rays or Ultra-sounds: Ultra sounds, at least the gelly stuff is warm, I don't like standing on a cold floor for the x-rays.
Y. Your favorite food: hmm...I think it's a tie between the Bay Scallop Sushi roll and a Dominoz Pizza with only Canadian Bacon on top. yum...I'm hungry.
Z. Zodiac: I'm a Leo- use to study all that stuff in depth before I became a Christian- then I threw all my horoscope books away. but I'm supposedly very stubborn- you can verify that with Jesse.

VBS

So this has been an interesting and tiring week all at the same time. Some how we ended up with about a hundred fifth and sixth graders. It was crazy when we were getting to all the trips on Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday. Out of all the days my favorites were Monday when I got to take over for Hilary as a sixth grade leader -I really got a great chance to bond with our boys! Which never happens because to me- they are one of the more frustrating parts of ministry to deal with some times. But by the end of it I think the boys actually admired me because I made them stand up on the chairs for worship and yell their lungs out. They learned my name so fast, I loved hearing them run up to me and say "Arpee, Arpee!". I don't think I'll have a day like that again.
That is one of those memories that I like to lock up in my memory bank to look back on again some day and wish for another one.


My second favorite day of the week was Wednesday- water day. Kendell was so cool (one of our helpers whose in high school). Every time she would head up the slide she'd turn around and yell for me to come up with her. lol, She even told me the best way to go down (which we were warning the kids not to do ;) which was head first). At one point I was heading up one side of the slide and my foot slipped and I fell back taking everyone else behind me down as well, then the boys did it again except I was about to climb up so when I saw everyone falling towards me I jumped out of the way. It was awesome being wet the whole day in the 110 degree heat. All of Hilary's kids were watching by the side and the adults were going crazy with the slip n slide and the hoses and the water slide- spraying each other and just enjoying the feeling- it was awesome!

As for the job hunt- for some reason I've been feeling like Gods been encouraging me to take it day by day- even though it still stresses me out I just have to accept that this is where God prefers to have me right now and in order to serve him this is the best place I can be.