Other Places

So my job wait/search has become bearable at least. Every morning I wake up with my heart beating kind of fast because it's the first thing I think about when I wake up. Isn't that sad. Anyways, then I spend some time on the couch struggling with God while reading my Bible which eventually leads to me praying on my knees.

I realized the other day that one of the ladies at new cov had something I didn't. She works with her daughter in a cleaning service she started after she lost her husband in an accident and all income with it. Anyways, I was in one of my moods ready to start crying when I saw her come down the stairs, I turned away to avoid conversation but the funny thing was she didn't even see me. Instead I ended up watching her pick up little pieces of garbage off of the floor but what was most amazing was that she looked completely at peace, at ease, in a calm satisfied place doing it. I think it was a God moment showing me how he could bring the greatest amount of peace and satisfaction to every moment. Even moments that you would think should be sad and miserable.
She made me want what she had. There I was feeling so low and she had everything that I wanted. Why can't I just simplify my life and let God take care of things like she did with hers? Why is it so difficult for me to believe that where God wants me is where I am supposed to be regardless of how difficult it is right now. I don't know.

Anyways, today I applied to Uncle Harry's Bagels (which IS a bagelry- Jesse didn't believe that the word existed and that I was making it up until I saw it on the sign and told him so in a voice mail I sent him), checked on my application at Home Goods, picked up an application at Vonda's. That's where I am at for now. I was also mildly promised a position at the Fresno Pacific Kitchen. I was supposed to call in today to come in for an interview but when I did they pushed it back to next Monday- so we'll see if that comes through.